No Complaints - A New Quest

Announcement

When Chris, my blog typist and editor asked me what the next topic was going to center on, I announced it would be on complaining. He objected because he sensed the entire blog was going to be centered on him. He was sort of correct, but he asked for a topic and I gave him one. Then we had a discussion, meaning spoken words (Chris) and the AAC (augmentative and alternative communication) device (me). 

Chris: “So are you insinuating that I have been complaining a lot lately?”

Me (AAC): “Yes.”

Chris: “But I just had carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand with the right hand coming up soon with no additional help to care for your needs and schedule.”

Me (AAC): “Yes.”

Chris: “Yes? You understand my plight and realize complaining is just part of dealing with it? Or yes, my complaining is out of control and wearing on your soul.”

Me (AAC): “Yes.”

A New Quest

So, this discourse sent Chris on 15-mile bike ride. When he returned, he mumbled (same Greek word in the Bible for “complain”) something about blog clarity and we had another “conversation.” The revelation he had while cruising a sun-soaked bike trail along the Red River in summer heat was that if we were to write a blog about complaining, then we should both admit our guilt in a spirit of honesty and do something about it; not just talk about it. We decided to begin a quest to fight the disease of complaining. 

The Disease of Complaining

Most of us have suffered from the malady of complaining; perhaps not to fully blown neuroticism, a real mental health condition which health experts claim impairs 25% of us. Often, we will complain as a means of socializing or contributing at the morning coffee clutch. But if we are all honest, it is near-impossible to leave a group conversation with a skip in our step when much of the talking was centered on everyone’s most recent complaints. Complaining tends to drape a gloomy pall around everyone and everything within earshot. The good news is that there are cures, starting with the “good news.” 

Help from the Word

We all have go-to sources for help and information: our own internal intellect, self-help books, social media, Google, intuition, ChatGPT, grandma, or one of those smart aquarium octopuses and their nine brains. Another great source is THE source. I believe in God and the amazing preservation and integrity of his words and wisdom in the scriptures. If God’s words have stood the test of millennia, then I should listen and practice what he said. At least that’s my thought process. So, I looked to St. Pete from the Bible. Peter hung out with Jesus three years and served him until his death. I am using his wisdom and advice on one way to deal with complaining. Peter’s strategy to rise above complaining is outlined in a prayer written to a group of persecuted Christians 2000 years ago.

Change Our Focus

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another . . . Be hospitable to one another without complaint . . . As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another . . . by the strength which God supplies . . . So that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. Amen. 1 Peter 4:8-11

As we dug into this scripture further, we discovered that Peter was telling these Christ followers in central Turkey (now) to stop complaining about their situation and focus on three things: loving one another, being hospitable, and employing their God-given gifts and talents to serve others. Many were being severely ostracized for their faith; having turned from the worship of Greek, Roman and pagan gods to belief in Jesus. For some, that decision brought religious persecution in the form of property being seized or destroyed and reputations maligned. They had good reasons to complain. But Peter says they needed to move on in life. He wasn’t diminishing their pain, but he was adamant that as believers in Christ they had new spiritual power to replace the urge to complain. 

The Quest Challenged

Like Peter encouraging his audience to cease the grumbling and move toward a life that glorifies God, Chris and I decided to try to do the same; no complaints. Soon after we made that decision, we were challenged greatly. Forgoing the details, in what was supposed to be a half day in Fargo for a few routine Parkinson’s Disease (PD) procedures, ended up being a full day from hell: four different clinic/hospital locations visited, multiple needle pokes for bloodwork and spinal fluid extraction, and prep-work for a new surgery date to replace my brain stimulator. The temptation was fierce to complain about needle after needle, my dystonia infused body positioned-repositioned trying to obtain a spinal fluid sample. The nurse, radiologist and Chris finally found success only after laying me on my stomach on an x-ray table. Chris said it reminded him of plopping and carving a stiff walleye on the fish table at the Devil’s Lake cleaning station (famous ND walleye lake reference). 

Stay the Temptation

Having faced our day from hell with minimal complaints we arrived back in Grand Forks by 8PM and rewarded our heroic "few-complaints" effort with lemon ice from Culvers. Relaxing in my lift chair recliner, we reflected on the day from hell. We had worked hard at loving the multitude of staff we’d encountered rather than grumble. That is probably what helped stay the temptation to complain. I did have to lift my hand to disrupt Chris’ near complaint on how “the day” probably wrecked the carpal tunnel work done on his hand the week before 😊. This is going to be quite the quest.

Unusual Strength

In my next blog I will dive into the three strategies (love, hospitality, using gifts to serve) St. Pete gives us to combat and defeat complaining as our quest to conquer complaining continues! For now, I am on a road in retirement with PD and deep brain surgery gone wrong. We have pushed through all the stages of PD in my journey, suffering various kinds of grief and loss. I think today we are dealing with lingering bits and pieces of every stage of the disease progression. But I have to stop here and note that there is a mysterious unusual pervasive penetrating strength, almost like the Eagles tush push (football reference) that pushes us forward through obstacles. As my body degrades and new medical issues arise, God’s power and strength multiply within both of us to meet and even push us through the challenge. It’s a Holy Spirit sourced thing, hard to define, transcendent, definitely not from us, and all the glory to God.

Keep fervent in your love for one another . . . Be hospitable to one another without complaint . . . employ your gifts in serving one another . . . by the strength which God supplies . . . So that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. Amen. 1 Peter 4:8-11