Purpose Found

On a Cliff of Purpose Crisis

I feel like I left my last blog with the storyline of a car that’s gone through a mountain road guardrail and is one clinging wheel away from a 2000’ drop. Inside the vehicle, the main character has great fear in her eyes being on a precipice of purpose crisis. However, my situation isn’t like this at all (I just heard a concerted sigh). Actually, my situation is more like Tom Cruise in a Mission Impossible “impossible” dilemma, but with that sparkle in his blueish-green eyes. We all know he’s going to make it, after all, he is the hero and not bad to look at. I am no heroine, but my husband says I have that twinkle. My purpose to serve God and others remains, but I am navigating my assignments that come with that purpose, differently. 

Gifts and Purpose Remain 

As we all travel down our roadways of purpose, we need to be prepared for changes. My giftings from God like mercy, administration, serving, and just loving others remain. God reminds me that these gifts are perpetual and remain in my spirit to do good in this life no matter what. God showed me that I need to be realistic about my abilities and use them in whatever ways I can. In short, it’s been a grueling fight this past year to regain some of my physical, emotional, and mental abilities; but I hear God telling me that my purpose and complimenting gifts haven’t disappeared, they’ve just changed a little. I use that word with a double meaning.

Gifts that Changed a Little

The superpowers of my Holy Spirit-endowed gifts are still; supernatural and powerful, and they have changed only “a little.” My gifts are also little in smallness. I can’t command an entire classroom using mercy any longer, but I can teach a young care worker how to pick rhubarb from a plant in my backyard and turn it into a mouthwatering coffee cake. My super organizational skills from God once had me organize over a hundred dozen holiday cookies and treats for a church youth group as a fundraiser for a mission trip. I recruited church bakers, marketed the bake sale campaign, garnered 60+ orders, supervised the baking, applied quality control (let’s just say not everyone knows how to bake), packaged the goodies with volunteers, and delivered all products with bows. I will never do this again, not because I didn’t like the challenge but because things have changed a little the way I use my gifts. Oh, and I led the youth mission trip to Guatemala.

Using my Gifts

I use my gifts daily, but they are smaller packages. Parkinson’s disease eventually steals one’s ability to smile, but I can power through occasionally and bless someone with a loving smirk. I still remember birthdays, anniversaries, and reoccurring get-togethers; all opportunities to organize or maybe to bless with a gift (giving is another spiritual gift by the way). I still feel the Spirit’s nudge when it’s time to visit a loved one, with love in one hand and a hand-dipped DQ Dilly Bar from our old-fashioned north-end Dairy Queen in the other. I still muster organizational inspiration getting various friend groups together for morning pancakes or evening chili rellenos. There are never-ending ways in God’s mind for me to use my gifts and He shares them freely. 

Keeping It Simple

I am learning to keep it simple. Smaller is ok. As a matter of fact, God has impressed in my heart that just focusing on Him as I drive down my road is a purpose. Jesus was on the road once and stopped at the home of a Jewish woman named Martha for what was likely a dinner. Martha was so flustered in all her preparations and hospitality (another gift in the Bible by the way) for hosting Jesus and his crew in this Luke 10 account that she complained to Jesus! Martha had a gripe about her sister Mary who was no help at all! Apparently, Mary didn’t have that hospitality gift, so she just sat, eyes glued to Jesus, and listened to his words; and He was ok with that. I still have a lot to do for Jesus, but if all I do for the rest of my days is sit and look at Jesus, and He’s ok with that, then I’d take that as my purpose found. But as it stands, I have things to do.

Purpose Found

Yes, my purpose has been found and it involves using my gifts from God to serve Him and others. I don’t need to make hundreds of cookies for a cause, but I can make a half-dozen brownies for the neighbor kids who bring me handwritten thank-you notes with artwork. The mental image I get in my head on my road in retirement is that I can no longer take hundred-mile excursions on my road trip, but I can still enjoy shorter less involved turn-offs, wayside stops, and scenic turnouts. No historical marker turnouts though, those belong to Chris. The large feats of godly service are over, but the small things of God still require my gifts and are just as amazing and powerful.