Underestimated

   Comfortable. Just like putting on old, worn-in pair of jeans. That's what a good friendship is like. No matter the months or the miles. you pick up your friendship as if you were next door neighbors. This kind of friendship doesn't happen often, but when it does, treasure  it.

    Underestimated. That's often what we do to these connections, we underestimate them or undervalue them. Because these people aren't in our purview on a regular basis, maybe we lump them on the wayside and don't give them the value they deserve. So why am I writing about valuing friends? Because I was recently reminded of how blessed I am to have my college roommate in my life. We've been friends since chemistry class sophomore year. I knew of her, and judged her, of not being of my ilk. She was too girly for me. Somehow I found myself in class  with her seated next to me. Later, our teacher had us pair up. All the smart kids made a beeline for the other smart kids, swiftly maneuvering around my chair. In the end , there were two people left. The person not of my ilk and me.

    I came to realize I was wrong, as I mostly was in those days. We connected while studying in my dorm for a chemistry test. Only there wasn't much studying going on. Most of the talk was important, get-to-know-you talk that changed our lives forever. She decided to dump her boyfriend of three years and free herself to date the guy whom she eventually married. Me? I learned that my ilk was lacking.

    We've been friends ever since. Skipping philosophy class to instead go on "Missions from God" led to us renting a house from our former chemistry teacher and rooming together in the house that was too expensive to heat. We had many a good time in that house from hosting parties where no one took off their coat because the inside air matched the frigid temperature outside to filling up our friend's Ford Fiesta with wood from his farm to feed our wood-burning stove.

    I got engaged while I lived in that house, and she graduated and got married. So why the trip down memory lane?  My husband and I traveled to meet them recently for a short vacation. The friends who are so much a part of our lives that we can't remember what life was like without them. The friends who have been there for the birth of our boys and the wedding of our oldest. This visit reinforced to me how much I treasure these two people. And how much I underestimate their friendship. I expect them to always be there and take for granted their phone calls and availability.

    Things have changed. I have changed and physically it's hard for me to keep up. But they don't care. They wait patiently for me to get around, helping when they can. When we first met up with them that weekend, it was like unpacking those jeans and putting them on. The fit was perfect.

    No matter what happens, I know the person who wasn't of my ilk in college is just the friend for me now. And she's been that friend for over forty years.

    The point of this whole meandering tale is this: don't undervalue your friends. Especially those who fit you. Tell them they matter. Tell them they are loved. Experience your own "Mission from God." Just do it.